It was a normal Monday afternoon as I logged my hours into the database of the pregnancy center where I work. Out of nowhere came a sting of guilt as I remembered the quick temper that I had displayed to my brother as I rushed out the door. Pondering my actions, the enemy began to whisper lies to my soul, “Who are you to work with this Pregnancy Center? If they only knew what you are really like, they would never want to have your service. You are just a hypocritical Christian. You need to resign and step down from all the ministry you are part of.”
Shame shadowed my face as I finished up my tasks and headed to my car. “Maybe I should just step down from ministry until I get my life together?” I pondered, as the engine began.
I wish that I could tell you that I didn’t listen to those lies for long. I wish that I hadn’t lived believing them for so long. Yet, honestly, I stayed in that place of shame for many months, and still to this day struggle with the guilt of not being completely sanctified.
The greatest fear I have isn’t the fear of being murdered in my sleep, of the darkness, or even of heights. My most monsterest of fears is the fear of being a hypocrite. I fear preaching one thing and living another. I fear failing God and not living in a way that honors Him. I fear causing the same amount of pain that I have experienced
from others. I fear being labeled a hypocrite.
I know that I am not the only one who has struggled with this lie. The lie that the enemy so often speaks, attempting to disqualify us from the work that Christ is doing.
There is a clear difference between a hypocritical Christian and a true follower of Christ.
A hypocritical Christian claims to be without sin, yet knows that sin is within their lives. John warned the church of this very thing, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” (1 John 1:8)
A true follower of Christ is a work in progress. He or she doesn’t claim to be perfect but simply on the upward climb toward sanctification.
I am not a finished project.
I am not sinless and it seems that the closer I draw to the light, the more dirt and grime shows within.
HE is still working on my soul.
I continue to strive toward perfection, Yet all the time allowing Him to sanctify me.